* Say these slokas - they're good for you
* Pray to this god - he's responsible for education* Its all about the positive vibrations the mantras generate
* Its the belief that counts
* Whats the difference between a mantra and any other word - they're all sounds
* Saying random collection of sounds to random stones - stupid fellow
* You are one - You are all - What are you trying to prove to whom?
* You don't live - You don't die - What's the big deal?
* Does any of it even matter?
These are all questions and suggestions that are in and around me all the time.. And these things have never ceased to confuse me.. They seem to take pleasure in doing it..
Some ppl say that sating prayers make them feel good and so they do it.. well, sleeping and eating chocolates make me feel good.. So do i go ahead and do them all the time??
I am in some way prepared to accept that our choices determine what happens to us in our lives.. But if the choices themselves are pre-determined, whats the point of me making conscious choices? arent the choices i take by default the ones i end up doing anyway?? Doesnt this leave us with an absolute lack of a reason to do anything at all??
Let me put down a few paradoxical thoughts here.. Consider this scenario.. Why must we try to achieve to be better than everyone else?? Does it matter at all?? Aren't we all the same fundamentally and isnt tat which really matters?? therefore, what ever i try, it finally doesnt matter.. And so, (here's the paradox) if it doesnt really matter what i do, why not go ahead and do it anyway??
We live in a world where the good and the bad dont really have much of meaning.. They change their definition with time, place, individual.. What do i believe?? I believe there is no good and no bad.. but i also realise that this applies not just to me, but to everyone else as well.. This is probably what really draws me to Nolan's Joker from the Dark Knight.. He understands that he is part of the system, part of the whole process.. therefore, if Harvey Dent's coin flip in the hospital had lead to his death, he is prepared to take that chance.. that is how he lives.. he makes a choice and accepts the consequences whatever they be..
The title i have given this writing kind of expresses my state.. its just "What do i?" not "what do i do?", not "what do i believe?".. its just "What do i?".. a funny thing this is..
I see chaos and order as just 2 different points of view.. Hence it is possible that the chaos i perceive right now is just a way of seeing things.. Does it disturb me? yes it does - just like order disturbs me.. Do i ever feel peace? yes.. i do.. when i know the chaos and order, co-existing, and being themselves.. It amuses me that i even see them at all..
My my.. The things i think and the things i dont.. What ever do i do/think/believe??
Or should i even stop thinking there is something i must do/think/believe??
what do i?
